-The name’s JJ
-Slightly grazes Legal age
-Female
-Lives and Dies for Music, Guitars, and Comic Books
-The Comic Relief
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Down Memory Lane
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Dolour.
Yes. What i've been fearing for has happened. The person who has taken care of and instilled values in me my whole life has chosen to live in another country. just another country, they say. it's just a few miles away, they say. nothing's gonna change, they say. Why do you have to sugar coat everything? i know for a fact that we are as good as a thousand light years apart now.
This is the person who has made the most influence in my life. The most important person in my life. In a family filled with negativity, she has managed to outshine all with her morals. Being the ass that i am, i have hurt her so many times. During her tough times, i chose to live somewhere else. I chose not to be a part of it. I swear to God i'd give anything to take them all back. Everyone knows how fortunate i am to be blessed with someone who has been nothing but good to me and has loved me unconditionally. What adds more to the depression is knowing she isn't getting any younger. and i want to spend all the time in the world with her before it's too late. But now that can't happen.
I really find it unfair that those I love the most have to be as far as possible from me. My pillar of strength is now gone. This is what causes me to lose the drive. the drive to live. the drive to believe in myself.
Heck. I'm 21 years old. I am much wiser, older, and mature than the kid she left many years back. But no. This time, it's about her. So I choose to be the 7 year old she saw through the plane window. The little girl who was crying her eyes out because she thought she would lose her grandma forever. I hope still sees me the way she did 14 years ago through that window. A little girl that loves her so much.
I hate everything about airports. The security, food (taste and budget wise), traffic, carts running you over. etc. What i hate the most about it is the "departure drop-off". You can just imagine all the enveloped emotions being filtered at the same time each moment in that God-forbidden airport terminal wing.
Yes. What i've been fearing for has happened. The person who has taken care of and instilled values in me my whole life has chosen to live in another country. just another country, they say. it's just a few miles away, they say. nothing's gonna change, they say. Why do you have to sugar coat everything? i know for a fact that we are as good as a thousand light years apart now.
This is the person who has made the most influence in my life. The most important person in my life. In a family filled with negativity, she has managed to outshine all with her morals. Being the ass that i am, i have hurt her so many times. During her tough times, i chose to live somewhere else. I chose not to be a part of it. I swear to God i'd give anything to take them all back. Everyone knows how fortunate i am to be blessed with someone who has been nothing but good to me and has loved me unconditionally. What adds more to the depression is knowing she isn't getting any younger. and i want to spend all the time in the world with her before it's too late. But now that can't happen.
I really find it unfair that those I love the most have to be as far as possible from me. My pillar of strength is now gone. This is what causes me to lose the drive. the drive to live. the drive to believe in myself.
Heck. I'm 21 years old. I am much wiser, older, and mature than the kid she left many years back. But no. This time, it's about her. So I choose to be the 7 year old she saw through the plane window. The little girl who was crying her eyes out because she thought she would lose her grandma forever. I hope still sees me the way she did 14 years ago through that window. A little girl that loves her so much.
jj apostol was shot at 5:01 AM