Yeah. I know. I haven't posted anything for a loooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg time. I've been extremely busy. Yeah. So anyhoo, I'm actually in my hotel room in Singapore getting ready for my midnight flight home. I can't believe I typed in HOME. Yeah. So here I am, feeling extra emo. I am not sure if I want to continue my life in Manila or if I do want to continue my life at all. There. I said it. I'm not even sorry. These last two years have been the lowest point in my life. Ever since my dad died, I just feel like my life was taken away also. I'm not sure if I'm just being super emotional right now coz I just celebrated my birthday and I was forced to reevaluate my life so far. i'm quite certain that as I board the plane and wait for a few hours til touchdown, I would not be looking forward to those that await me once I come back. Don't you just wish that life would have a pause button? I'm not asking for a reverse command. Just a pause. Hold. For the world to hold on. in that moment, you'd be able to just cope up with the pace of change that is too fast for you to handle. Of course I'm right.

Well what do I want to happen with my life right now? (aside from being reunited with my father)

• I want to quit. I want to quit my job, that is. I just feel that it's a dog eat dog world in the company I work for. People would drag you to the bottom of the marianas trench just for them to get the glory. People have been rude. Every single day, I enslave my self for something that I do not find rewarding. It's been playing around my head for the longest time but now I've never been so sure. the thing is, for financial stability, I can't just resign without a new job waiting for me. That's just wrong.
  

  
   

  I just pray that I do grow the cojones I need to do it. To hand my resignation paper. I need a sign lord. A nudge. I know I haven't been your best child most especially since my dad died, and I have questioned your existence and your plans. Right now I still do. But to the greater being which I know there is, I need a sign that everything would be alright and what I will choose to do (whatever it is) is something that will be beneficial for me and my loved ones in the long run.
  

  
   

  As for me, I'd like to take baby steps in making my decision. From time to time, I'd check the job listings then update my resume. From there, no one knows.