and i can never be the one who saves the day. . .

Nudge

2009-08-31T22:33:00.001+10:00

Yeah. I know. I haven't posted anything for a loooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg time. I've been extremely busy. Yeah. So anyhoo, I'm actually in my hotel room in Singapore getting ready for my midnight flight home. I can't believe I typed in HOME. Yeah. So here I am, feeling extra emo. I am not sure if I want to continue my life in Manila or if I do want to continue my life at all. There. I said it. I'm not even sorry. These last two years have been the lowest point in my life. Ever since my dad died, I just feel like my life was taken away also. I'm not sure if I'm just being super emotional right now coz I just celebrated my birthday and I was forced to reevaluate my life so far. i'm quite certain that as I board the plane and wait for a few hours til touchdown, I would not be looking forward to those that await me once I come back. Don't you just wish that life would have a pause button? I'm not asking for a reverse command. Just a pause. Hold. For the world to hold on. in that moment, you'd be able to just cope up with the pace of change that is too fast for you to handle. Of course I'm right.

Well what do I want to happen with my life right now? (aside from being reunited with my father)

I want to quit. I want to quit my job, that is. I just feel that it's a dog eat dog world in the company I work for. People would drag you to the bottom of the marianas trench just for them to get the glory. People have been rude. Every single day, I enslave my self for something that I do not find rewarding. It's been playing around my head for the longest time but now I've never been so sure. the thing is, for financial stability, I can't just resign without a new job waiting for me. That's just wrong.

I just pray that I do grow the cojones I need to do it. To hand my resignation paper. I need a sign lord. A nudge. I know I haven't been your best child most especially since my dad died, and I have questioned your existence and your plans. Right now I still do. But to the greater being which I know there is, I need a sign that everything would be alright and what I will choose to do (whatever it is) is something that will be beneficial for me and my loved ones in the long run.

As for me, I'd like to take baby steps in making my decision. From time to time, I'd check the job listings then update my resume. From there, no one knows.

This shit’s still working?

2009-02-17T23:36:00.001+10:00

Holy crap! Wtf? Last post was August 3? That was fucking 6 months ago?! Anyway. I can't promise anything but I'll try to fill up the emptiness by writing more nonsense. I've shitloads to tell.

Vomit Free

2008-08-03T05:09:00.001+10:00

God I'm wasted. I just got home from a drinking session with people twice my age.. Lolz.. I finished a liter of beer, yo! I'm hiccupping while typing this. How do you get rid of it anyways? Being drunk is an affirmation of the crapfest that is my life. Yay! Oh yey! I'm drinking on Friday and Saturday next week again. Here's hoping for a vomit free streak! Yiz Muhn.

Fuck that company. They haven't called me since the interview. Dude! I turned down two job offers for you! What the hell is your problem? Your HR sucks! Fucking ass wipes who think they're above everything.

You guys know I always blog from Microsoft word right? It keeps blocking my posts for some reason. I'm too wasted to figure it out right now.

I'm in hell right now for not charging my iPod! Gah it's such a hassle to charge it via usb. I need to buy a wall charger coz they say the USB only charges it to 80%.. whatever.

Down with the System

2008-07-22T16:44:00.001+10:00

Wow. I haven't updated this shit for the longest time. Yeah. Anyway, I can't find a decent work in this God forsaken country. My dad didn't pay good money for me to finish architecture and end up being a draftsman. No way. I am so hating the system right now. Why the fuck would we have to wait two years before we could take the board? It's just plain stupid. It's a good thing if you can work abroad and finish your apprenticeship there. They think they're doing a right thing holding us here as prisoners so we won't have any interest leaving the country. Hell no! if you think about it, the suckiness of this country has reached another record level that even us, future architects are willing not to take and qualify for the exam by going to Singapore or Dubai to earn good money. Yeah. Whatever.

Sore Ass

2008-05-28T18:58:00.005+10:00

I saw Broadway on Ice last night.. such talented kids.. fucking wooden seats ruined it for me though..

Yeah.. there's been a change of lifestyle for me.. i quit the band, i don't go out, and apparently, i dig musicals on ice.. Wtf?! LOL! i'm watching high school musical on ice this July! Yiz Muhn!

Child Prodigy? Not!

2008-05-25T18:16:00.002+10:00

David COOKED American Idol Season 7.. That was a good finale.. It was so good that i downloaded it and placed it on my iPod!

Some people would say it was all scripted and shit because the judges favored Archie over Cook during the final performance date.. Hmmm.. Not really.. It was only Simon who was all (in a british accent to archuleta) "what we've seen is a knock out".. he's saying archuleta PWN3D cook.. the whole world disagreed.. LOL! he even apologized to cook coz he was sort of rude to him.. Bah.. i'm just thankful it wasn't Syesha "crying-gets-a-lot-of-votes" Mercado who won..

Bah.. My two bets didn't even make it to the top 2.. Michael Johns and Jason Castro.. When Michael Johns got axed, i was really shocked and was determined that it would be Jason Castro for the win.. But NoOOO! Jason got eliminated after doing a Bob Marley stint and Syesha Mercado cried to get sympathy.. Geez.. God I hate her..

Was i the only one who noticed that David Archuleta has a fat ass? Haha.. it was the start of the finale and they were all in white.. the camera swiveled around the two finalists and Archuleta's ass was really sticking out.. Lol!

The finale was the greatest AI Finale i ever saw.. so far.. but of course, i have comments..

-David archuleta's fat ass once again..

-Syesha Mercado's black armpits

-WTF? Cook and Archuleta sang HERO.. Haha.. Archuleta got PWN3d really bad there.. Cook was flawless of course.. he nailed the high pitch blending the dude from SALIVA did in the original song.

-the top girls' performance was boring as hell..
-amanda overmyer made a mistake at the beginning.. Nyaha.. God i hate her voice.. good thing her mic's always turned off..
-WTF? Syesha Mercado sang with Donna summers? - good thing there was trouble with her mic.
-why the hell did they zoom the camera to the guy dancer who was panting at the side stairs? WTF was that?
-Why do people cheer so hard everytime KLC sings? and why is she the star for every group presentation?

-the top guys' performance with bryan adams was "ayt for me"

-i liked that the eliminated contestants had solo performances as well.. i didn't like syesha's duet with seal.. Haha.. i hated it.. i keep skipping that part in my ipod.. Jason was great of course.. Brooke white sang a song i don't know with a guy i don't know as well.. it was good, nevertheless.. Michael Johns and Carly smithson's duet was grrrreat!

-cook jammed with zz top.. Yay!

-i was excited to see one republic.. it was around the second verse that archuleta came in and ruined the song with his adlibs..

-lol at Gladys knight and the pips.. Jack black, Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr were funny as hell.. RD was really good.. he gave off a 70's vibe.. Ben stiller had the stiffest dancing bod.. JB was the funniest of them all..

-JOrdin sparks and Carrie underwood performed.. What's up with Carrie Underwood? has she shifted from country to rock? I always memba chace crawford when i see carrie underwood..

-Grrreat final performance by the top 12.. they did a wham/george michael medley.. of course, George michael performed..

-The annoying filipino dude reynaldo lapuz sang his famous hit.. is that even a real song?

-results came in and cook won.. hahaha.. you could see the face of ownage of archuleta's dad when the camera was focused to their side..

good show.. good show.. ;)

til next season..

The legendary week

2008-05-19T18:14:00.000+10:00

Well this is another version of my multiply post.. only my contacts can view that, I think.. anyhoo.. sorry again if I have not been much of a blogger lately.. Yeah.. so anyway, May 11-17, 2008 was plain legendary.. of course you’re gonna ask why..

1. I’m now officially an aunt..in the wee hours of may 13,little Iñigo Alessandro was born.. Yay.. He’s so cute and wrinkly..

2. A lot of people celebrated their birthdays that week. Specifically, May 15.

3. Dad’s been gone for exactly 6 months..

4. I went lame ass and collapsed in school, the day of my thesis defense

5. I bought a 160 gb iPod Classic as a gift to myself.. Why? Coz…

6. I’m finally done with school.. I passed my thesis.. YAY! Studying architecture has pushed my mind and body to their breaking points.. and now, it has paid off! Woo!

The Break-up Kid

2008-04-30T07:32:00.001+10:00

It's weird that my life's been sort of eventful the past weeks and yet I did not blog about 'em..

So yes.. it's official.. I'm out of the band… After telling the band I was out for good, there was this really big lump in my throat that I usually get when I think of my dad.. I've been mustering the confidence I needed to be a bitch and leave them hanging for months now.. been wanting out for some time.. Aside from my frequent absences, there were a lot of factors that led to such decision..

According to my dad, I am a future professional and I should start acting like one
Musical differences. We can't pull off a pop/punk/rock/funk band..Sure I have the same taste as the drummer but that's just not gonna do.. I think this is one of the major reasons why we can't compose more songs..
Honestly, I don't see myself in Icalaua's future and vice versa..
It was getting too showbiz and I got overwhelmed.
I could not reciprocate the level of commitment and dedication the guys have for the band.

Just had to do what I had to do and that's all there was to it.. I just have to live with the fact that though I left, there is still an Icalaua.. They're gonna get better, bag a record deal, have die hard fans, and bask in the glory of fame. As for me, I'll be in the sidelines, sulking in one corner thinking if I made the right decision..

If I get my life on track and if luck would have it, I'll be in the band scene again.. Maybe start a brit rock or punk band.. What I've always wanted.. but when that time comes, it wouldn't be with Icalaua.. I walked out and there's no reason for me to go back.. At least for now..

American Jack Off

2008-04-11T17:23:00.001+10:00

Sorry for the lack of noise.

What have i done recently that is blog worthy? Nothing really.

Oh right. Michael Johns got axed today. That was a real shocker. That man was in my personal top 2. What the hell is Syesha and Kristy Lee Cook still doing in the competition? I believe America has done a great job so far in choosing those to be eliminated up until now. Now that Michael is out, I'd have to make my new personal top faves. So here:

David Cook – I may have found him a tad arrogant in the semis but this dude's got talent.
Jason Castro – This dude brings something new to the table
David Archuleta – This Kid definitely has talent but I'm afraid he's good with gloomy songs only
Brooke White – I'm not a big fan of the female finalists 'xcept for Brooke and carly.
Carly Smithson – Rocker chick way better than Amanda Overmyer. Lol.
Syesha Mercado and Kristy Lee Cook – I hope AI does a double elimination special.. Haha..

LOL..

Speechless

2008-03-26T20:43:00.002+10:00

Brit Fuckin' sucked! 'nuff said.
Wow. Way to ruin an episode.

More than a Cameo

2008-03-26T07:48:00.003+10:00

Right. I've been like waiting for an hour for my HIMYM torrent download to finish. Gak. I missed this show so much. They only started airing a fresh episode Monday last week. IT was funny but not as funny as the previous episodes. Maybe it was because the writers, after a few negotiations were raped by the producers with shitloads of work that they weren't able to write great material. Hmmm. Ah yes? Lol. God. The media is having a field day on this whole Britney Guest starring role. Well I guess it's a win-win situation for everyone. This would keep Britney busy, the show would have MAJOR exposure and make more money. The only losers are the shows with the same timeslot as HIMYM. Ha! My forecast for today's episode would be a lot better than last week. I hope. I'm not so sure if Britney can act. I suddenly remembered Crossroads. It fuckin sucked. She better not ruin HIMYM. Ha. I think one of the reasons why she's doing HIMYM is because she has no money. HAha. She's only allowed to spend 1500 a week as of this moment. I really pity her. Everything she's worked for just went to some tool's pocket. Well. Downloaded was just completed. I'll blog again right after judging her performance. Pfft. *fingers crossed*

Jamie likes to [the ironist makes a comeback]

2008-03-17T06:55:00.002+10:00

Alright. Just go to google, type in "[your name] likes to" and hit search. List down the first 10 statements that match your search. Yes. If you stumble upon kinky and pervy stuff (yes, things that i would find interesting), you can disregard it and move on to the next thing. Wow! Boredom just reached a whole new level, folks! If you already know and have done this, and you feel the need to gloat and proclaim to the whole world that you've known this way before i have. do it elsewhere. don't even think of harshing my mellow. Fuck you. Sorry it's just the pms and i-wont-be-marching-on-tuesday depression kicking in. Haay. I need my meds.

Anyhoo, i know i haven't been using the name jamie for the longest time and i don't even feel like a "jamie". i decided to use it for this entry coz i would like to pay tribute to my deceased father who named me jamie.. whatever. jamie's easier to google than stupid JJ. For jamie, there where a lot of matches such as jamie oliver, jamie cullum, and of course good ol' preggy jamie lynn spears. Yey. for jj, i keep getting a lil JJ. Must be a kid rapper who in a few years, upon hitting puberty would drop the li'l just like your friendly neighborhood washed out kid rappers such as bow wow and romeo. Pffft. so you're the Guinness world's youngest recording artist. I couldn't care less.

Thank you for dropping by sarcasm island. we will now fly back to the original topic. yeah. so anyway, apparently:

1. Jamie likes to talk about how annoying Angeline is and thinks Angeline is effortlessly beautiful.
-came from a book named dear dumb diary. Yes. I also think it the diary became dumb because all the hatred this stupid middle schooler wrote on it. Hmm.. sounds familiar.

2. Jamie really likes to eat, and she is afraid that perhaps she's put on some extra weight.
- dead on. no actually, this is an understatement. forget the "perhaps" and "extra". i really put on weight. Yey! This statement was actually pertaining to a cat, how idioitic was that? Pfft.

3. Jamie likes pain.
-I actually have no sensation left in my life so i'm starting to think that i do like pain.

4. Jamie likes to sleep. When not sleeping, he sings.
- for a moment there, i forgot boys are also named jamie. i think it's a fruity name for a boy. Yes. i do like to sleep. I fall asleep while blogging, fixing my closet, arranging my comic book collection, playing guitar, during mass (i shall burn in hell soon), while swimming, etc. I'd have to disagree with the second statement though. If i had to sing to save my life, i'd probably die.

5. Jamie likes Math and PC in school because he likes to play kickball
- I do like Math and PC. but WTF? What's math and pc got to do with kickball? i haven't played kickball since the fourth grade. for those of you who aren't familiar with kickball, it's a lame ass combination of soccer and baseball. You could google it and you could also google "idiot/moron who doesn't know what kickball is" while you're at it. Just kidding

6. I know Jamie likes Justin Timberlake and Im guessing he has a iPod classic.
- I love JT! i don't want to gloat but i'm a ridonculous dancer. I do not have an iPod classic. Remember? i misplaced my 20gb sony Walkman and my cybershot sometime last year? Thank you for bringing that up.

7. Jamie likes rice pudding.
-What?! just because i'm asian, you think i like rice pudding? i don't think i even know what a rice pudding is. So you're a racist eh?

8. Jamie likes to be needed, as well as to cherish and protect his loved ones, of whom he is somewhat possessive.
-What the hell? Sure.In a bizarro emo world, that is.

9. Jamie likes to copy her brother so she likes dinosaurs too.
-Erroneous! My brother's crazy over pokemons, not dinosaurs! Although i was reading a book about dinosaurs this afternoon. Did you know that fossils will decipher the gender, age, food eaten but never the color of its skin.

10. Jamie likes to bike locally at Harold Parker, Boston Hills, Hampstead Forest, Bear Brook, and other places.
-I'm 21 and i don't know how to ride a bike. Rub it in!

You guys should do this. It's usesless. But it helps get your mind off suicide. Pfft. Kidding.

Half a month

2008-03-14T22:55:00.002+10:00

Sorry. Haven't been able to update this shit for 2 weeks. It's weird coz I should be posting every minute of the day since I pretty much do nothing now. You know what I am? I am an in between bum. I just need the 5 units then I'm off to corporate lala land. I really want to take up Architectural design In University of Queensland but I don't have money. I think it'll cost me like 50,000 US dollars to enroll there. And that doesn't include lodging and food yet. Hmmm. It'll be a really good move coz if I get a degree and license there, I could also register here and be a licensed architect. That's really good coz my license would be honored in both countries. Yeah. UCLA also has a fine architecture program. I don't get the whole fee table they posted on their website, but it's definitely cheaper than the whole University of Queensland plan. Hmmm. Help me?

Junebug

2008-03-01T18:52:00.002+10:00

The guy who played Paulie Bleaker in Juno's bugging me. I don't know what it is but I just want to smack him in the face. I don't hate him or anything . It's just that he gives of this vibe that wants me to punch his face. Ha! He always plays characters that are dorky. Suits him well. Anyhoo. I watched juno again the other day. I just had to pay tribute coz they didn't win any Oscar. Oh right. Juno also drives a Previa. Same color as mine. Haha . Anyway, I noticed that my there's been a jump in my counter. Yey.

Across the Disturbance

2008-02-28T18:57:00.002+10:00

Well I just saw Across the Universe. At first i wasn't sure if I was gonna like it. Turned out to be a reaaaalllllly goooodddd movie. I found it quite corny though that they named some of the cast after the songs like Prudence, Jude, and Lucy. I know, right? Ha. It was really good. They showed the whole '60s lifestyle and culture which was the beatles era. The beatles' music is just plain timeless. Being born decades after the beatles reign, i find their songs relatable. For them to create songs that are to be appreciated by people not from their own time is just plain genius.

What keeps bothering me is Evan Rachel Wood. I love her. She's such a great actress. There was some sort of a left breast exposure but that didn't disturb me as much as the fact that she is currently dating Marilyn Manson. That's just plain gross. What the hell,man? That guy fucked a friggin cow onstage. That guy's repulsive! And what is up with the weird costumes/uniforms his girlfriends wear? They're always sporting a '40s inspired wardrobe. Just the thought of them together makes me throw up a little in my mouth. That reminds me to not watch MM's Heart Shaped Glasses ever again.

Firefox Revamp

2008-02-24T21:37:00.001+10:00

Dead bored. J

I recently changed my firefox theme. It's this new newground theme that has a gray-black-orange palette. Cool. Here:

Well this is my original homepage, (dogpile) I just wanted to show you how cool it looked when browsing in blackle.

Unbelievable

2008-02-24T09:45:00.002+10:00

I still am getting used to the fact that blogging in Word is unbelievably easy and convenient. It's ridonculous. I really need to go back to work. Til then!

Good job, Gates!

2008-02-24T09:35:00.002+10:00

Haha. Guess where I'm typing? Microsoft Word! Yey! Hehe. Yeah. It turns out you can write blogs in Microsoft Word 2007 and it directly uploads your post. Many of you might know this already and find me annoying for being in a state of perpetual bliss coz it's only now that I figured this out. Sorry. Yeah. Noob move. I just recently installed the Microsoft Office 2007 and it rocks. I've had the trusty 2003 edition for quite some time now. J Oh look! Auto smiley! You never get that when writing in the blogger post box. Anyhoo, I'm currently working on our Building Maintenance Report. Yeah. Party Pooper, eh? Wait! How do I place tags here? Coz of course I want people to pass by my site. (For advertising purposes) Oh I'm having so much fun blogging in Microsoft Word. Yey. Will post again later. I just wanted to gloat for a while that I'm blogging in Word. Who would've thought? Hehe. J Schveet!

Forced to be a fruitcake by psychology

2008-02-22T08:18:00.003+10:00

Yeah so anyway, i have an essay due in like 5 hours and i haven't even started. I should be feeling the jimjams right now. this essay serves as the final exam in Psychology. I should write my soul away. now. How the hell could i write my soul away if the theme of the paper is the fruitiest thing i've ever heard in my life? "10 things i learned in college". I know right? Lol. Since my attempt to write this essay is not looking good (at all). An idea came into mind that i should just pass a blank paper saying i didn't learn anything. Clever, yes? Lol.

Life all planned out

2008-02-20T04:51:00.002+10:00

Update. I finally finished my thesis. Sort of. God indeed shows small mercies. I'll be graduating this summer instead of October. Yay! So i finished everything and showed it to my thesis adviser. The things that i should work on are the following:

1. The Ratio/proportion of Utilities to the number of users/Floor Area
2. Architectural details - she said that i should study my details coz they are quite complex such as the self curbing double dome.
3. Doing away with Roof decks. She wanted more dramatic roofs for my buildings. And of course, Roof decks require a lot of budget and maintenance such as waterproofing, etc.

I really think that i could revise these minor issues plus reproofing the book come summer time. I hope. But what if my adviser wants me to replan everything on summer? 5 weeks? Gak!

The STRAT of something new

2008-02-16T22:44:00.003+10:00

My humphrey is no strat. it's an ibanez that looks like a fat strat. :) Well, since it looks much like a strat, i've had this thing against strats. i find them plain. too plain. But they sound wicked of course. Not until i was skimming through a bunch of guitars in guitar center. Woohoo. I saw the Fender John Mayer Signature Stratocaster and i immediately fell in love with it. It's no fat strat.. it's an S-S-S. Still looked good though. Hmm. I know that model's been out for some time now, but it was such a beauty. Yes. I can see myself onstage playing one. So there. Maybe this is another epiphany. You shouldn't completely shut your door on some things. maybe i hated strats for a while coz i wanted to be on the other side. Everyone does.

The music in me

2008-02-16T11:08:00.002+10:00

This post is not as fruity as the title. Ha!

Well these past few days, i've been obsessed with playing music. It's weird. yes. I've been playing the keyboard, guitar, and bass all day. Hmm. i'm planning to start a one woman band and will be touring around the metro pretty soon. Ha. Of course i'm kidding. :)

Maybe a few more days keeping this up and i'll be sure to score a chair in the Philharmonic Orchestra. Before that, i have to learn new drum beats. I can only play one beat. (in different tempos) Lol.

I can't believe how incredibly talented i am. Lol.
(background music: Here she comes to save the day, Mighty Gloat is on her way)

Well Valentine's day is out the window. Woot. The night of valentine's day, i was quite sad coz all i got were a card and a rose. Pffft.. From my friend and my stepdad. Talk about depressing. Anyhoo, as i retired that night, i had the weirdest dream. I dreamt of the ghosts of my valentine past. Yeah. talk about fruity. I woke up really early and had this weird feeling in my stomach. Yes. they were definitely butterflies. Hmmm.. Yeah i guess it's safe to say i'm still in that God forbidden place. :) and i'm thinking of giving it another try. what do you think? Hey i've hurt people too and they've given me a chance.

THis just feels strange. Being cynical for quite some time and now feeling the butterflies again? Maybe it's just the spirit of Valentine's day. I don't know. but i sure am liking what i'm feeling right now.. Haaay. Good lord, i'm in a state of perpetual bliss.

Your Ad Here

2008-02-11T03:30:00.000+10:00

Ha! yeah. i guess i'm going to have to give in to advertisers pretty soon. TAKE ME PLEASE. Ha! yeah. Given the fact that i won't be graduating this march, (still bitter about what happened) heck, i'm searching for ways to earn a little on the side to pay for the condo unit, utilities, new car, and other stuff. yeah. talk about bad timing. As for my battle plan, it's still pretty much in the rough but maybe you could help me out. i made a list of money making schemes. Now i know these might seem pretty bizarre, but Hey! if this is what it takes to earn a little cas, BY God, i'll do it!

1. Donate blood (for cash) - i have donated blood once before, but i ended up feeling a little faint. i can get used to it, right?
2. Sell my kidney - you only need one functioning kidney.
3. Sell my kid brother - he's cute right? he'd make a great commercial actor. But then i'd be responsible if his childhood gets all screwed up. Hmmm..
4. Freelance Graphic design services - i'm a really good graphic artist! i'm actually the best! and i'm super humble too.
5. Be a rockstar - my band's got talent! But we really need to come up with new material.
6. Sell my soul - let's make this the last option.
7. Take job at an Architectural firm - but then they'd make me work everyday from 8-6 pm. I might have no time for thesis.
8. Design shoes for PONY - hmmm. what if they don't like my designs. might as well try.
9. Sell my guitar stuff and comic books - HELL NO!
10. Smooch off other people? - I've been doing that for 21 years. i'm practically a pro.

Let me know what you think, people!
Take it easy!

Another all-time low.

2008-02-03T13:41:00.000+10:00

I know i've announced a few months back that i would be using my blogspot to broadcast my thoughts, yes? I just wanted also to use multiply 'coz i think more people view my multiply than my blogspot. (Rockstar mode, ON) Yeah. Anyway, before people start talking as to why i'm not graduating, let me be the one to give you a play by play on what happened.

Saturday, January 26 was second endorsement. I had complete requirements. from plans to perspectives, i've even laid them out in photoshop with the borders and shit. I could speak for Pao and Hinch, who were with me (and were also creamed by Ponce), that out of the bunch, i was the only one who completed everything. Ponce whipped out my progress chart and checked every requirement box there is. Now all i had to do was finalize everything and improve my sections which she thought were "pangit." hehe. but other than that, i was a shoo in for the last endorsement.

The following week, i worked really hard on my sections. i detailed them. good Lord. you could see the bed sheet patterns, the plants, the wallpapers and the pictures on the walls. That's how detailed they were. I had 4 buildings so i made 4 sections. Wednesday morning, i labeled the sections, details and structural concept. After that, the only things i had to do were labeling the plans, exporting, and photoshopping. I saved my files, and left Cad 2008 open coz i had to get ready to go to school to buy backing boards for my print outs. I let my little sister use MY computer. Well that was hell. i had to commute with a 30"x40" bag filled with corrugated boards (14) that were meant to be used as backing boards for my print outs.. Anyway, i had it all figured out. i was going to have my stuff printed in Microcadd SM BACOOR come Friday morning.. hehe. yeah i found it funny at first also..hehe.. i had to call NDD to contact them and inquire on their rates.. anyhoo, upon arrival at home, i immediately opened the PC and my CAD files that i left before leaving. I was really surprised that it was taking a really long time to load. really. and then after like 5 minutes, they're finally loaded but all i can see were blank documents. i started to get scared so i zoomed the screen in and out hoping the drawings would appear. For my 3 files that morning, (details, structural concept, and sections), that was what happened. i tried the *.bak, and recovery tools, nothing happened. It dawned on me that my files were corrupted. I started to cry immediately while throwing random curses. I shouted at my little sister and asked her what had happened.. the only reply i got was "EH NAG HANG NGA EH!" i wanted to smack her in the face and do a weird judo kick flip or something. I wanted to kill her. You know what's worse than people who don't say sorry? people who won't admit they've done something wrong. I explained to the gravity of the situation saying that my computer has hung up on me many times but never had it erased my files. what a moron. she kept repeating "EH NAG HANG NGA EH!" as if that was the only group of words she could put together. then my whore of a mother was all mad at me for cursing and wanting everyone to be pissed off also coz of what happened. Dude seriously, have i got reasons to grieve over what happened? Fuck you! your poser daughter destroyed my thesis. and my future as well. I tried finishing everything. but time was definitely not on my side. It wasn't until it was friday afternoon that i realized it's not looking so good for me. I won't be able to finish come saturday. yeah. you could guess what happened next. there was nothing to do but accept the fact that it's over. I won't be marching this sem ender.

God, i've Bled for this thesis and this is all i get? not even a slot for deliberation? Life's unfair most of the time. I would like to say sorry to everyone who was expecting. I quit the band for thesis. i went home early from australia for thesis. i stopped going out for thesis. My life was my thesis and this is what happens. i am really frustrated over the series of unfortunate events in my life. I worked so hard for this. Way harder than some of the people who were endorsed yesterday. God! What do i get in the end? A dead father and no graduation? My dad (before he passed away last November) was scheduled to go home for my graduation come March. He was the most excited about it. What kind of a sick kid i am to not be able to fulfill the wish of her dead father? ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!

Fuck!

sorry dad.

nothing

2008-01-20T04:22:00.000+10:00

yeah. nothing's change. it's been more than a month since my last entry and my life's getting crappier by the minute.

well thesis endorsement is snooping around the corner, and i don't think i'll be able to make it. hmmm.. really, this is too much for me to handle right now.

from the very start of the sem, i already told the family that i didn't feel like going to school at least for this sem. of course they disapproved. i can't blame them. well who would want to hear that?

i don't know. it's just super hard for me right now. is losing someone this hard? it never stops hurting? the pain only cuts deeper and deeper through time?

God, i'd give anything to be with my dad right now. Even if it would cost me my life.

Push Over

2007-12-08T00:16:00.000+10:00

My dad's not. He just happens to be a kind person and that's why people take advantage of him. Well my dad's sort of loaded. I think bitches can sense that he is that's why they gravitate towards him. Hmmm... whatever. Yes there is a certain whore that has been living off my father's funds for 2 years. In her desperation for a good life, she attaches herself to my dad. A man who is almost 30 years older than her. Now my dad's stuck with her. Demanding that she gets my dad's money? Ha! the fuck? she's more delusional than i thought she was. hahaha. whatever. You're a whore and you know it.

baby steps

2007-12-03T05:23:00.000+10:00

Yeah. it's been a month since dad had the stroke and heart combo attack. I don't know. Time goes by so slowly now dad's gone. hmmm. His first death monthsary would be on the 9th. I miss you dad. The pain i feel now is no different from the first time i heard you had an attack. yeah. talk about not moving on. It's just that there's so much on my plate right now. with the eternal family complications, thesis, and losing dad. God, this is so hard. I would gladly give up my life for dad to be alive right now. His kindness has touched so many people. I don't know why i can't seem to accept the fact that my father died. Maybe because i don't want to. talk to me in ten years and still i won't want to.

I can speak for everyone that this experience has been the hardest on me. Yes. My way of dealing with the situation was far from healthy. I do confess to the following: banging my head on the wall, cutting myself, taking a bunch of pills, and had my mind set on quitting school. i know that dad wouldn't want to see me this way. heck, no parent would. but I was ready to give up on myself. and a part of me still might.

Now i have to rebuild my life. a life without him. no one said it would be easy. you could say this would be the hardest thing i'd ever have to do. It's just that i have nothing. no family. i never did. my dad was my family. i treasured him the most. just when you have something left to gain in your life, you lose it too.

whatever.

Refreshing for a journal update.

2007-11-16T22:24:00.000+10:00

Yeah. This blog has been screaming for an update. Most especially now. But i'm still in no mood. In a nutshell, i went to Australia to see my dad. He passed on peacefully last Friday, November 9. Surprisingly, i am holding up very well. I just got back yesterday. Dad won't be here for another 4 days.

Dad, Hold On. I Love You

2007-11-02T06:52:00.000+10:00

"How can I say...
Say I'll be okay?

And if I fall through these days
That go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me
Here on my own...

And if I fall through these nights
I can't seem to go on
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the
Strength to hold on..."

My dad just had a large heart attack 12nn Philippine Time, yesterday November 1, 2007. He was found unconcious on the floor of his ship cabin while on sea in Australia. He was rushed by the paramedics to Townsville Hospital in Queensland,Brisbane by helicopter. Immediately, he was under operation to reduce the blood in his brain. After, it was found out that his brain was severely damaged. The only thing that's keeping him alive is his heart still pumping blood and a life support machine. He is in a very critical condition.

My sister and I are flying to Australia as soon as our documents are taken care of. I ask you humbly for your prayers. prayers for my dad, for my family, and me. As of this moment, i'm losing the drive to live and believe that there is a greater plan. Lord, i just ask you to please give me enough time to say goodbye to the most important person in my life.

And Dad, please hold on. I love you. We'll be there soon.

Withdrawal

2007-10-28T04:01:00.000+10:00

I've been really sick the whole day. I can't eat properly and i throw up every hour on the dot. I'm as pale as something that is usually pale. hahaha! sorry for the poor simile. Maybe this is a good thing. I've been wanting to shed off a few pounds.

Dolour.

2007-10-27T05:01:00.000+10:00

I hate everything about airports. The security, food (taste and budget wise), traffic, carts running you over. etc. What i hate the most about it is the "departure drop-off". You can just imagine all the enveloped emotions being filtered at the same time each moment in that God-forbidden airport terminal wing.

Yes. What i've been fearing for has happened. The person who has taken care of and instilled values in me my whole life has chosen to live in another country. just another country, they say. it's just a few miles away, they say. nothing's gonna change, they say. Why do you have to sugar coat everything? i know for a fact that we are as good as a thousand light years apart now.

This is the person who has made the most influence in my life. The most important person in my life. In a family filled with negativity, she has managed to outshine all with her morals. Being the ass that i am, i have hurt her so many times. During her tough times, i chose to live somewhere else. I chose not to be a part of it. I swear to God i'd give anything to take them all back. Everyone knows how fortunate i am to be blessed with someone who has been nothing but good to me and has loved me unconditionally. What adds more to the depression is knowing she isn't getting any younger. and i want to spend all the time in the world with her before it's too late. But now that can't happen.

I really find it unfair that those I love the most have to be as far as possible from me. My pillar of strength is now gone. This is what causes me to lose the drive. the drive to live. the drive to believe in myself.

Heck. I'm 21 years old. I am much wiser, older, and mature than the kid she left many years back. But no. This time, it's about her. So I choose to be the 7 year old she saw through the plane window. The little girl who was crying her eyes out because she thought she would lose her grandma forever. I hope still sees me the way she did 14 years ago through that window. A little girl that loves her so much.

Dear Michael

2007-10-25T02:15:00.000+10:00

DISCLAIMER: When you're listening to Boyz II Men while writing this, it's for certain that your emotions have gotten the best of you..

Hey. here. After a few years, i've managed to have the guts to broadcast your name. MICHAEL. MICHAEL. MICHAEL. yeah. eeww. you have such a common name. what did i ever see in you? These past few months got me thinking. It's really unfair what you're doing to me recently.. what the hell? Out of the blue, you just show up as a friend? I know you well enough to know that you want something. are you trying to make it up to me for giving me the biggest heartache of my life? I don't need a pity awkward relationship with you. I don't need anything from you at all. Dude, seriously.. take a hint. i don't reply to your messages. the only time i replied was when you sent me a birthday message last August.. the day after my birthday.. You still haven't changed. MY birthday is on the 26th, not the 27th ASS! and i'm pretty sure my reply was cold as ice. You know what sucks? i've made a pact with myself to not have anything to do with you in my life. and that just screams "BITTERNESS".. i know you.. you're probably inside your beat up car that smells funky, laughing, believing that YOU ruined my life.. You want people to know that you "broke" me. That's just plain evil, man. But knowing how numb you are, you wouldn't know you're being rude and mean even if it bit you in the ass.. Yes, i admit. i had a dark age after "US".. Arrgh.. there are so many things i would like to say to you.. but i can't... i've been really confused... maybe the reason why i want you out of my life is I do want you in my life. Just like before. minus the drama and the heartache ofcourse.

“The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end” - - VERY TRUE... we always believe that our first love is something that would last forever, and is invincible.. to our dismay, it always ends when you've invested so much in it.. I try not to think that i've wasted so many years on you.. I've learned so much.. the hard way..

Homo

2007-10-22T23:15:00.001+10:00

I have reasons to believe my brother is GAY.. LOL!

Stepping Stone

2007-10-22T20:59:00.000+10:00

Clearances and grades came out today. I didn't go to school though. The thought of getting the clearance report with the word "fail" printed across a subject would be dreadful. Lol. i know. i worry too much. Turns out my grades are far from failing. Wooptidoo! Ü

Though i'm a shoo in for next sem, i'm really worried about snow's situation. i can bet a thousand bucks his name wasn't called when the AS Prof was calling out those who were in the "danger zone".. I really pray there was just a misprint or discrepancy. He has way too much talent to not graduate on March.

Take it easy! Ü

Hell Week

2007-10-22T00:46:00.000+10:00

This week would culminate my entire being. Damn.

I'm no guitar hero

2007-10-19T12:14:00.001+10:00

Band practice and Guitar Hero sucked the life out of my hands last night. Yeah. we spent more than half of the band practice polishing an off beat song. haha. i really hope we can pull it off tonight.

Heck

2007-10-18T14:41:00.000+10:00

Alryt. Since i had so much free time yesterday and we're switching cable providers, i watched a few shows i downloaded. yeah. the current season of Prison break, Heroes, Smallville and How I met Your Mother. After watching them, i can't help but feel a little depressed. Why? you might ask.

DISCLAIMER: SPOILER ALERT! DON'T READ ON IF YOU'RE THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO WHINES SO MUCH IF THE STORY OF HIS OR HER FAVORITE SHOW IS SPOILED TO HER OR HIM.

PRISON BREAK : Yes.. It really is true that Sarah Tancredi is dead. Too bad. I really loved her character. Apparently, the actress who played Sarah Tancredi was expecting a child during the time of shooting. that's why they killed her character. I can't say i was super surprised. they kept hiding her face this season. haha. But for Lincoln to open that box with sarah's head inside? bleh. that was just too much. Story's kinda getting boring.

HEROES : This season is really interesting. so far, it's equally interesting as the first. I still have comments though. THere's this guy clare's been dating named West. turns out he's one of them. He has the flight ability. i mean. come on! we already have someone who flies.. Nathan.. Is there just a rotation of powers of some sort in the story? Oh. don't get me started on Peter Petrelli. What the hell? how'd he end up in Ireland? I don't like the idea of him having all the powers. For a moment while watching a fight scene, i thought i was watching smallville. the hell, he's becoming more and more of a superman. They should do something about that. Lastly, what the hell is going on with Maya and Alejandro? i know! we get it! Maya unintentionally kills people. But how exactly? come on! i don't get it. do maya and alejandro have this sort of YIn and Yang power? i guess we're just gonna have to wait. as usual.

SMALLVILLE: Hmm... Smallville. The last episode was good. Lana and Clark finally got back together.. i'd have to say again, that the story's getting boring.. Wake up scriptwriters! this is the last season of Smallville! we want more Action! more Lana and Clark! We all know lex is gonna marry super girl in the future right? well if you haven't known, then you should. haha. it's just stupid how easily Lex has forgotten all about Lana now that he has this new obsession.

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER: Okay, this has probably what has caused most part of the depression. anyway. they say that robin's not the mother right? i know. but i didn't believe it at first cause the future ted never referred to her as Aunt Robin.. up until yesterday.. great.. there was a picture drawn by his kids saying.. "US AND AUNT ROBIN".. the hell? that really crushed me.. i don't know why i was so devastated.. haha. maybe it's because there's a small part of me that believes they'll end up together.. but NO! i always thought Robin would change and then she'd realize she's the one. yeah.. life goes on..

Like any other movie, tv show, or book report, there is a moral lesson. And here it is:

the thing with robin and ted; and lana and clark, i believed too much that they were meant for each other. a part of me still hopes they do end up together.. but we all know that's not gonna happen.. so here..

I just realized that just because you don't get to marry that person and you don't live happily ever after, it doesn't mean that you wasted so much being with that person. that you're relationship is worthless.. you've learned so much when you were with him right? he probably made you stronger and better.. it's just you do have an expiration date.. it sucks, i know.. just think of your failed relationships as a stepping stone to something greater i guess.. :(

you should be crying by now.. lol.. it's weird to have one of my life's greatest epiphanies after watching a bunch of tv shows...

Ü

2007-10-16T18:47:00.000+10:00

dear diary,

i'm broke. flat. i wish people who owe me cash start paying soon. it's just annoying how they think i've forgotten their debts. what am i going to do, dear diary? can you magically poof bank notes within your pages? please? til then, my dear diary!

with much love,
li'l jj

Breakation

2007-10-16T09:04:00.000+10:00

I barely got home alive after being mauled last night in Lawton.. they had to relocate the queuing area for the FX taxis for some reason. i think it's because the former waiting area was a no loading and unloading zone. i'm not really sure. i know for a fact though that it's so much more hassling to the commuters.. yeah.. i really need my car back.. haha..

yeah so anyway, sembreak's here. it's not much of a break when you're required to start working on your designs for thesis. i have no choice. i wouldn't want to have to pay the price of having a wicked break come deliberation. Ü hehe.

The start of the countdown

2007-10-09T02:31:00.001+10:00

Heck. this is it. this sem's almost over. God that was really fast. i'm beginning to feel the jimjams once again. After this, i must bid my band, and my social life goodbye. I'd be one of those types who'd their bring sketchpads everywhere.. Hmmm.. Sem Break.. Yeah right. i have to make the most of this break if i want a decent design come November. Damn. I'm actually in the middle of thesis revisions right now. then on wednesday, i'd be working on my schemes for the book as well. just wanted to give you an update. nothing much is going on anyway. til then! take it easy! :)

everyone has an alter ego

2007-09-25T20:53:00.000+10:00

along with my strong opinion on hypocrisy that has been extremely evident in today's world, i would like to add a small issue that bothers me so much. you all have online friends right? a handful might have friendster, multiply, myspace, blogspot even. right. try skimming through their profiles and blogs. they're all so dark, suicidal, and cool. now i address this question to you. when you see your friend walking down the street or bumping into him in between classes, what's he like? i can bet a month's worth of allowance he's not what he claims to be. yes. HE'S A POSER. check his blog. you would see different statements, phrases, or whatever such as... "this trigger i shall pull, blowing your mind to pieces";"in your sleep, i will kill you"; "fear me, for i will seek my revenge".. sorry. i can't stand to type more wannabe lines.. who are you kidding,man? why are you trying to be so dark and mysterious? what? you've had problems with your mommy and daddy? you want to tell the whole world about it? the girl of your dreams, you've been stalking can't reciprocate your feelings? Well grow up! these people always tend to exaggerate. for example. a normal non-poser would post: "i felt a little sad this morning when i went to the cake store to buy a blueberry muffin only to find out the last piece was just bought by someone else." the poser that he is, he would probably say.. "the world is against my personal happiness.. as i was in my quest to find something that would bring me momentary joy, it was to my dismay that the tiny ray of hope inside of me was shattered to bits and pieces.. ".. hahaha! i know,right? really annoying.

my message to those who fall under this group of lifeless people: whatever.. go ahead.. try to be someone you're not.. others might be fooled by your "dark and miserable facade".. it's never gonna work with me though.. i can see right through you.. damn posers..

sick jansport

2007-09-19T07:20:00.000+10:00

Alright. so i've been cleaning my backpack just a few minutes ago, and it just made me realize how much clutter i've been shoving inside of it. really disgusting. there was a used-to-be-pink-but-now-it's-gray-because-of-the-dust sweater (which i use for under layering).. a huge superman sticker, chopsticks, screwdriver, a mix cd (by yours truly), double sided tape, green sand, cutter blades, a pirated dvd, 3 kinds of eraser, an eng bee tin hopia wrapper, guitar cables, clay, a 9-volt battery, guitar tuner, a soundcard, an ink cartridge, socks, and what seems to be a statuette of some sort. what the hell? am i trying to build a time machine? i better have my bag dry cleaned.. if not, i'm guessing it'll be quarantined soon..

Let's analyze

2007-09-18T02:55:00.000+10:00

Yes. WTF? --- what was probably in our minds right after a surreal moment with Umbridge that left each and everyone of us dumbfounded. haha. what in reality was about 5 minutes of lashing out seemed a lifetime of soul tormenting for us.. in that five minutes, she managed to insult us, our parents, the food, where we come from, our generation, etc.. whatever.. i know my mom and dad do not epitomize perfection in parenthood (and you know i'm very vocal about that.. haha..), but she's in no position to speak ill of them.. even though i was smirking the entire time she went berserk, i can't seem to understand how could anyone say so many hurtful words in 5 minutes?.. i'm trying to analyze the factors that would lead to such a disturbing behavior.. hmmm.. could she be having a bad day? could she be feeling uncomfortable with the pencil skirt and the 4-inchers? should we cut her some slack? NAH! I'VE BEEN HAVING A BAD LIFE! WHERE'S MY SLACK? (ok that was so emo).. i admit we can be pretty rowdy at times, but we were not behaving any differently today compared to our other meetings.. hmmm... what do you think?

props for her excellent acting skills though..

Humphrey's illness

2007-09-16T05:06:00.001+10:00

Damn. i'm really worried about humphrey. in case you don't know him, Humphrey is a red ibanez grx electric guitar. I think he's giving up on me.. haha.. hell, we've been together for 3 years.. i've been wanting to buy a new guitar so humphrey could retire.. i'm not selling humphrey..i simply can't.. he was a gift to me on my 18th birthday and was one of the best gifts i've ever received.. Who knew i could be so emotional over a guitar? yeah well anyway, i would like to introduce to the world my prospect guitar... GABLE..

an epiphone sg-310 emily the strange electric guitar.. why do i think it's a great guitar? it's and sg, it goes well with the genre of music i love (punk), emily the strange hates conformity, it's gorgeous, it's one of the top ten guitars for girls, and it personifies me.. haay.. i'm still convincing my relatives in the states to buy him for me since it's much cheaper there.. soon Gable! soon..

Finally

2007-09-16T03:54:00.000+10:00

After a long search of a decent blog skin, i now present you this emo-ish template. I like it and i couldn't care less if you don't.

Revert

2007-09-15T17:28:00.000+10:00

ok. so creepy. i went to gino's page and we had the exact same layout. i switched back to my punk layout. i'll find another layout when i get back.

Breezing through

2007-09-15T17:17:00.000+10:00

i'm gonna make this short. i have band practice in an hour and i've to get ready. anyhoo. since i'm not really comfortable posting my innermost thoughts and feelings in multiply, consider this new layout and new post as a blogspot homecoming for me.

i've been really depressed lately. there are certain issues that have been sucking the life out of me. i will further discuss them later when i get back. i just wanted to say "hi! i'm still alive!". later.

Post International JJ Awarenes Day Celebration

2007-08-27T07:03:00.000+10:00

Friends, Romans, Countrymen..

Thanks for the greetings yesterday. :)
YOu all Rock.

Most especially Carlota who spent a fortune calling just to greet me a wicked birthday and to curse me over the phone.. you're weird. but still, thanks!

For those who seemed to forget, I'll have to kick all your asses. Lookin forward to that.. Mwahahahaha..

Til next year.

ISHTUCK

2007-08-05T02:52:00.000+10:00

you've read right my friend..after the blogspot drought, i've decided to start this one out with profanity. haha. i've been really procrastinating these days on my thesis. i mean come on man! i just don't know what to do!! argh.. submission's 2 weeks from now and all i have is a clean palette. ideas need to be popping out soon or seriously i'm dead..

July Filler

2007-07-04T12:11:00.001+10:00

Happy fourth of July, Schmos!

Can't do it

2007-06-19T08:23:00.000+10:00

Welcome home JJ! DOn't know. I feel much better broadcasting my thoughts here. Hehe. Multiply is cool and all but nothing beats blogspot. haha. Yeah so anyway, my mind's super set on the thesis thing this year. People are getting tired of hearing it, thinking it's a little too overrated. Well it should be. Fuck You. Haha.

Vrrooom!!

2007-05-21T05:46:00.000+10:00

I've been kinda hesitant to update my blog lately. Anyhoo. Gigs here and there. So fun.. You get to meet tons of people haha.. plus, little by little your fan base keeps growing.. haha.. feeling.. it's kinda awkward though to be recognized.. like when you're rummaging through a pile of dvd's in ruins? ahaha.. i don't like it.. Haha.. recently i've been addicted to playing the bass guitar.. maybe it's because i'm sick of having an electric guitar strapped on me which adds complications to my scoliosis. hehe.. as if the bass is lightweight.. what's new? been trying to stay away from philmusic. don't want to go on a splurge again, most especially because i can't seem to find my effin atm card. it's just so much hassle to request for another one.

Next. Today's the last day of classes. hehe.. can't wait. starting tomorrow, it's mega loaf time for me and more time for the band. yey! But the highlight of my summer's just starting next week! it's the much awaited semi annual cebu and leyte trip. yey! can't wait!

The Aftermath

2007-05-04T03:52:00.000+10:00

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity." - Gilda Radner

and so i thought otherwise..

..Whatever. sometimes when everything you do turns out to be shit, there's still this tiny ray of light inside of you that hopes at the end of the road, a much promising journey awaits you.. a whole lot of crap..

judging from the emoness of the prelude, you can definitely say that bitterness has found its way to me.. again and again and again.. whatever.. isn't it ironic that what you dream the most of is something that would kill the dream itself?

we were super excited to perform in a reputable bar in the South.. to our dismay, we found out for ourselves what empty means.. sure.. it is by law that every band goes through this but i never thought that it would happen to us.. it's something that usually happens to a fellow band or a friend's band.. but not to us.. it made me realize that the little things are those that matter the most.. it was the first time ever that i was onstage and i wanted to run home.. i couldn't wait for it to be over.. i'm super frustrated..

haay.. what was supposedly a kickass event turned out to be the exact opposite.. fate managed to pull a 180 and smacked us in our bottoms..

everyone could agree that's worst gig ever..but for me it was the best because the only person that mattered to me showed up and that was more than enough to fill up those empty spaces.. thanks oline..

Test

2007-04-29T14:39:00.000+10:00

Cross Posting. Test. Test.

Kill Mode

2007-04-16T19:25:00.000+10:00

i absolutely hate it when people are a little too demanding.. makes me want to cut off their throats.. first of all, do i get paid to run your little errands? do you give me gas money? hell no..
just shut your pie hole..

btw.. we tried this laundry service just down the street.. it rocked.. the smell of whatever fabric softener they use will stay with your shirt all day.. even after jogging.. hahaha.. it's just cool to smell super nice.. hehe..

oh right.. i can't find my mp3 and my digicam.. it's been gone for like a week now.. i'm sure it's here at home.. just can't seem to remember where i put them.. st anthony help me...i badly need my player.. hehe..

oh right.. icalaua fans... yeah right.. hehe.. catch us on the following dates..

April 21 - Al's Bar Rock Radio

May 1 - Pacific Village Alabang

May 3 - 19 East, SLEX

May 26 - Alabang Town Center

i don't wanna post the other secret gigs for the summer yet.. haven't finalized ..and i don't wanna jinx 'em .. those dates are more important than those said above.. hehe..

You can blog in Hindi..

2007-04-16T02:10:00.000+10:00

haha..i was waiting for my dashboard to upload and there was a blogger ad saying you can now blog in Hindi.. haha.. i remember watching a clip from tv patrol about Indians.. they were asking the pinoys not to tease them 5-6 or bumbay.. hehe.. what a waste of air time..

i'm so loving oas right now.. i know they're like younger than me but whoa.. damn talented kids..

Can anyone lend me a copy of heroes 14-18? i haven't viewed those eps.. i'm so loving claire bennet.. not in a creepy gay sense.. hehe..

Go forth and MULTIPLY

2007-04-09T23:18:00.000+10:00

Why is everybody switching to multiply? You guys have perfectly working blogs.. Don't Switch!.. I've a multiply account but i use it for selling stuff and downloading music from other users.. Other than that, i have no use for it .. hehe .. i agree.. it's for advertising purposes..

pop goes my heart..

2007-04-07T17:01:00.000+10:00

well the post has no relation to the title.. it's just that pop goes my heart has been playing over and over again on my mind.. complete with the 80's get up and bad hair.. haaaay...

anyhoo.. dad's gonna be back on the 21st.. ffffucccck... i really miss him but on the other hand, i don't wanna see him coz lately, he's been really scolding me left and right.. i swear i've no idea why.. he has like a gentle soul with everyone else but me.. it's like evil has taken form in him.. ooohh... he's like the darth vader to my luke skywalker.. good one right? hehe.. what i'm really scared is when he gets home, he will beat the life out of me.. hehe.. i hope not.. i've back to back gigs this summer.. i don't wanna go up on stage and perform beaten up black and blue like a panda.. hahaha.. let's just all hope for the best,, it's been nice knowing you all... i hope i've made differences in all of your lives.. my life has had a good run right? hehehehehe..

seriously i'm dreading april 21...

Naman..

2007-04-02T17:50:00.000+10:00

Philmusic's server is always down.. ALWAYS.. at least 5 times a day.. it just sucks when you're in the middle of a transaction or a great deal then poof! "the server is taking too long to respond.." it's been idle for an hour or so i guess.. still waiting..

anyhoo.. Funny story.. is it necessary for a guy to change his avatar to a picture of him in his summer wear exposing his summer bod when his ex logs on from invisible mode in YM? hay.. look who's dwelling on the past.. hahahaha.. people can be so idiotic.. dude.. those are not abs.. all i can see is your ribcage..

The Aftermath

2007-04-01T18:30:00.000+10:00

It was a crazy night, last night.. surprisingly, i had the best time on stage.. the performance was really really really really really super super super super GRRRRRRRRRREAAAAAAAATTT!! yeah!.. so cool!! it was nerve wracking to go after scylla.. but i guess we pulled it off.. people really appreciated our music.. hehehe.. i saw a classmate from grade school.. i didn't approach her.. thought she might not recognize me.. whatever.. i'm too big of a rockstar to mind little people.. OF COURSE I'M KIDDING.. or am i?

let's breeze through last night's event.. Playground Prod Rock Your Vote.. Grand Launch..
Picture Picture! .. (oh Yeah, Right, if you wanna see all the pictures, just click on this link below..) http://s175.photobucket.com/albums/w122/terminalfrontdrive/March%2031%202007%20Als%20Bar/?start=all
start from the bottom of the page, than scroll to the top.. PERV!

hello! good day! behave mode.. with paolo and jordan.. rhythm, vox and lead.. yeah!

reggie's paparazzi shot!

first off, PILOT PROJECT!!

FLA from Zobel.. damn talented kids.. but they're kinda cocky..

SCYLLA.. hard rockin chick.. marc's on guitar..

PLAYGROUND PROD talk

the boys are soundchecking while i surf the turf!

ICALAUA TIME!!

and so the sons and daughter of liberty play.

nice one ram..

BLURRY SOLO PICS

familiar..

drummerboi

vox.

over bass..

FaoFao on Lead..

Too much airtime for my band.. hahaha..

KINKYHOOTERS.. need i say more?

tie dye shift.. pfffft...

called it a night after tie dye shift..

random morbid stuff:
i had to perform with no guitar pick.. must've dropped or left it somewhere.. anyhoo.. of course.. it hurt a lot.. imagine the skin attached to your nail peeling off everytime you strum.. here.. this is what happens to your guitar.. BLOODBATH BABY..at first, i thought it was only chocolate..really gross.. i've to clean my guitar.. there are even blood residues on the strings.. eew..

OUCH!!

Summer Meltdown

2007-03-31T16:30:00.000+10:00

it's saturday.. NO WORK!! yipee!! gig tonight.. hehehe.. An old friend's gonna be there.. i don't know if i should be happy or not.. he might blow away my concentration.. making me lose my composure.. .wahh!! crap.. jimjams.. anyhoo, i can't leave for another hour or so.. i'm waiting for the AGUA AMIGO delivery man.. all that's left in our fridge is a half empty pitcher of water.. ironic man.. Can you say EL NIÑO? god it's so hot.. AC's not helping at all.. ahihihi..

ish-tress

2007-03-30T22:26:00.000+10:00

been growing zits coz of work and dirty bedsheets.. really bad timing.. with the gigs and all.. i should be voted ms. philmusic 2007.. hahaha..

just got paid..

2007-03-29T15:01:00.000+10:00

i got a small bonus from work today.. hehehe.. it's not that much.. but hey.. who am i to complain right? i'm saving my money first to pay off my sudden philmusic splurge.. which really hurt my kidneys.. hahahaha.. this is how it feels like to have an office job.. hmmmmm... it sucks.. really.. i just hope i get the hang of it soon.. really soon..

1 week down the drain..

2007-03-29T10:18:00.000+10:00

and so i thought this would be the best summer ever.. what a bad start.. work's killing me.. seriously.. i may be cut out to be a graphic designer.. but my mind's in summer mode.. yikes.. i was kinda forced to take this job.. i really didn't apply or anything.. i was simply appointed.. hahaha.. the salary may be a hefty amount but i just don't want to age during the summer because of stress.. never thought it would haunt my summer.. hahaha.. wtf? .. I haven't gotten my paycheck yet.. bad idea to splurge on guitar accessories.. which i did.. hehehe.. seriously.. i'm broke.. all i have is a 500Php bank note til the end of the week.. don't you die on me NINOY! hahaha.. band.. what about it? gigs.. nothing much.. i just hope they don't expect too much from me.. atleast not for now.. they better stop forcing me to upgrade my guitar, buy this, buy that.. it's annoying.. we're playing on saturday btw.. come if you want.. i couldn't care less.. i just wanna play then go.. honestly..

right.. before i forget.. if you could just post messages or even nothingness on my shoutbox, it'll be great.. i just want to monitor if people are still viewing my page.. I'M THINKING OF SHUTTING DOWN THIS BLOGGER ACCOUNT .. AND MY FRIENDSTER ACCOUNT TOO..

start basking bebe!

2007-03-23T08:15:00.001+10:00

summer's here bebe! woot woot!! it just dawned on me that this will be my last summer.. as a student that is.. 5 more hours and my senior year is officially over.. crap.. i didn't get to study for the exams.. hmmm.. oh well.. come what may! woot!! got locked out of the house last night.. that was really annoying..i was experiencing the post plate symptoms that time pa naman...

wait.. gotta breeze through my pgc and ns notes.. screw AS!! 11 am baby. . can hardly wait..

layout

2007-03-13T22:48:00.000+10:00

overhauled my desktop visual style.. super cool.. i just felt the need to redress my desktop coz summer's here baby!!..

the jj celebrity edition

2007-03-13T01:27:00.000+10:00

hahaha.. check out my celebrity look alikes..
hahaha..

TOM WELLING
awww.. can you say DESTINY? ahahaha..

PRINCE WILLIAM
yeah.. royal blood

JERICHO ROSALES
local..

GEORGE MOSELY
who in god's name?... puppy dog face
EDDIE MURPHY
dr. doolittle mode..

ANGELINA JOLIE
thanks.. i guess..

SCARLETT JOHANNSON
i think this was when i was filming nanny diaries.. haha.. career mode..

KRISTIN KREUK
yehey!! winner!!

hope you guys had fun as much as i did..

momentarily overjoyed

2007-03-12T21:06:00.000+10:00

Gene moved the submission to thursday next week.. that's interesting.. more time to loaf.. charting my progress.. i'm super behind.. hehe..

been hearing from a special friend lately.. that would explain a lot.. hahaha.. especially the title of this post.. hahahaha..

miggy and jj

2007-03-11T19:02:00.001+10:00

haha.. sorry.. just can't get over that.. you're really brilliant miggy..stop doing that if you don't want another catfight.. ahihihii..

anyway.. lazy sunday.. i told you i'll try my best to give you updates.. i'm really stuck in the planning phase of my design.. oh crap.. i just realized that submission is on saturday... woohoo... feeling the jimjams.. 6 days baby... they added an architectural bay section.. which is pretty easy.. i think.. as long as i have to do only one span.. got a 90 on our hospital plate.. good enough..

can someone help me? i've been trying to figure out the artist of this song called lonely.. it's a mushy song.. i think it was a hit when we were still in high school.. i want to download it so badly..
basta there's this line : "..woke up with a broken heart singing can i get your love back again coz i'm going crazy being your friend.." google gave up on me.. hehehe.. please.. i love that song.. help me.. they used to play it on dreamsounds and quiet storm like 4 years ago.. help.. i'm cheesy... sue me..

look who's blogging

2007-03-10T20:13:00.000+10:00

what the hell? afer 2 long months of nothingness, the jj's back.. yes she is.. anyhoo.. i know you're like super tired of hearing this, but my pup christened Mr. Scamper J. Milhouse was dognapped 2 days ago.. i never thought i'd be one of those kids in those lame animal movies.. hahaha.. can you say LASSIE? i've posted and handed out flyers everywhere.. all i got in return were sympathies.. oh well.. it just kills me that now i don't get to see him whenever i want.. arrrgh.. oh well.. he was such a good dog..

to state the obvious, PBB's back! and i'm super hooked..i'm really tempted to avail of the 24/7 cable channel.. but if i do, then it's as good as admitting that i have way too much free time and i don't have a life.. yes? hahaha..

i'm starting to feel the pressure of the last few weeks of school.. as the boys would say it.. STRAIN SA BRAIN! HASSLE SA MUSCLE! STRESS SA CHEST! hahaha.. idiots.. hehe.. love you boys.. ooh.. btw.. there's this really cool punk band named boys love girls.. segway lang..

right.. i swear i'll try to post entries more often for your blogging satisfaction.. hahaha.. kissy kissy..

will comment on the band issues next entry.. so better watch out for that people who have nothing better to do! hahahaha

Hmm.

2007-02-28T22:35:00.000+10:00

February Filler Lang.

Half international jj awareness day

2007-02-26T19:26:00.000+10:00

It's my half birthday today!! yehey!!

Start of Something New

2007-01-04T22:38:00.000+10:00

Start of Something New... Hahahaha.. SO FRUITY...

Once again, happy new year schmos.. i really feel ripped off man.. all the other universities didn't kick off til the 8th or 10th… haay.. we didn’t even wait for 3 kings.. hahaha.. Who celebrates that anyway.. I just hope we get a week off earlier come summer break..

Well.. eve of the new year, I opted to stay at home.. I refuse to celebrate a holiday that would just get my hopes up.. sorry to harsh your mellow people.. new year? New beginning? Nothing but a pile of shit.. Man I lead a depressing life..

Funny story man.. after the Disney bowl-a-thon/ sing-a-long shit…I was inside my room playing guitar ..then suddenly, out of the blue, there was a drum accompaniment from outside.. it was my neighbor.. Hahaha.. He was really good.. Anyhoo, Pyros outside were really deafening.. I mean.. I had to watch Mr. deeds in full volume even after all the ruckus.. Hmmm. Mr. deeds... I was rummaging through the pile of dvd’s decomposing beside my guitar amp.. I came across it and got really excited coz I haven’t seen that film for almost a year, I think. I baked this big cookie which was really good.. hehehe.. when you look at it it looks like shit, literally.. but one bite will send you to cookie heaven.. hahaha..

In other news, my band lost a member.. Well I guess it’s back to the original members of unsaid sorrow.. I’m not really sure why nico left.. Hmmmm. ..well I guess it’s really better of this way.. I mean, we’re not emotionally ready.. it’s not him.. it’s me… hahahah wtf? I guess kidney boy’s out.. Band Jam last Friday was surprisingly Topnotch.. To think we didn’t practice for 3 consecutive weeks.. Could it be because nico left? Hahaha.. just kidding.. Too bad the fans won’t ever hear us play BLT.. we just couldn’t.. as a sign of respect to him..

Anyway, like my Christmas break, I’m gonna cut this one short.. hahaha… check out my profile pic.. cool huh?

PS I’m thinking of changing my blog layout again.. what do you think?

One Last Post..

2006-12-30T19:46:00.000+10:00

hey viewers! first and foremost, a thousand apologies for the lack of noise in my blog recently. my internet connection at home's fucked up. well anyway, dare I make up? Not really. These past few weeks have all been a blur to me.. Man! It just sucks that cheesy as it may sound, time’s just passing me by.. hehehe.. hmmm.

What to say, what to say.. Two Weeks off was meant to be a sojourn that will wipe my stress slate clean after a week of max of 2 hours a day sleep (Mp1). .Most of archi senioritos and senioritas are really super bummed out by the heinous second major plate.. whatever.. oooh.. another rantable issue.. Yes? I just thought of a musical production Pinoy archi style… How the Grinch (a.k.a Flancha) Stole Christmas. HEhehe.. oh man..Charting my progress on the second major plate, it’s safe to say that I’m super behind. I have no copy of the site, site bearings currently unavailable, blockmates do not respond to my messages regarding the plate details.. I haven’t even given it a portion of my oh so precious time. Haha.. I’m not even in square one yet. Zero. Nada. And to think that submission’s in two weeks.. hahaha. Oh Crap I just remembered that I won’t be going to school that week. I think.. oh man.

Another annoying school shit, is the Ifugao trip. Whatever. I sooooooooo do not want to go man.. Hinch? James? You guys with me? Hahaha, you prefer driving up to Tarlac instead? Hahaha.. Man..

Christmas was so-so.. or what the French would say comme ci comme ca.. Now this is me talking: Merde.. Je voudrais une mois vacances. Arrgh.. Wtf was that.. French blackout.. hahaha.. I just remembered Pepe Le Pieue.. .haha… *AH my darling*.hahaha.. anyhoo, Christmas gets pretty much suckier every year.. It’s really depressing.. I didn’t really get to feel the spirit..Let’s face it.. I’m no tiny tim. i remember when I was still in my young good morning towel days, haha. Christmas really knocked my socks off.. The whole Santa, gifts, simbang gabi, and noche Buena ideas were enough to get me through the holidays. What in God’s name happened to me now.

I’ve been trying so much to stay at home and rest because I badly need it.. Molding my ass on the couch made me realize that the following are overplayed on cable: American Pie 2, The Star Myx Episode of Hale, One Fine Day, The Son Of the Mask, Gremlins 2, etc.. feel free to add.. hahaha..

It was really weird that during the major plate hype, the only problem I encountered was a little coughing here and there, to think that there was a large amount of deprivation in the aspect of rest and relaxation. It wasn’t until Paskuhan that the whole stress thing took its toll on me. Mr. Sniffles, Coughy McCougherson, and Manong Fever (hahaha.. i ran out of cutsie names.) were in town! Ever since I took that flu shot last November, i’ve been having more trouble with my health than I already have.. I think it killed my immune system . Haha.. Miguelito!

I started a comic book business just recently, it sucks.. hahaha. People are just clowning with me. Haay.. They’re really all in when requesting for the comic books, mostly the hard to find ones, then they back out the last minute when I lay down the price. Come On Man! I strive and I strive for nothing? And some of my friends are screwing around with me asking for the baduy pinoy comics such as boy bawang, super inggo, and the other barely-a-comic-book series.. Not You Gi! Pupung’s fine. . Pupung’s cool.. HAhaaha.. I even set up a blog for my business. . it’s still under construction.. I wouldn’t want it to pale in comparison with my current award-winning blog, hahaha..
LEmme just give you a teaser: GO Spidey, Go!

This post has become longer than expected and I couldn’t care less. Hahaha..

New year’s up and coming, and still, I couldn’t care less.. .hahah.. not really. . the jj wants to embark on this new journey called 2007…. What the hell? Hahah.. Fruity! This coming year, I would like to venture on new things, explore greater horizons. . whatever. it’s just part of the new year’s resolution mumbo jumbo.. Seriously speaking though, I would like to be more cautious in everything I do. I’m not talking about like looking both directions when crossing the street type of caution,( though that’s really important as well) It’s about being more precautionary on those that hurt 50x more than what might lead to physical injuries. People. It’s just that I can’t really as trusting as I was back then. I won’t get tired of saying this. Check my older posts. Though it may lead me to a road of bitterness, I would willingly take the risk as long as I don’t get hurt in the process. Haaay.. One minute, they’re your friends, the next millisecond, they’ve said a million nasty things about you. And what sucks more is that they don’t think that they’ve done anything wrong. SO Whatever. I’m the type who holds grudges.. Sue Me.. I can now tell who my true friends from those who just use me to boost their popularity. (I know it sounds egotistical but believe me it’s true) Just stay the hell away from me. It’s bad enough that we have to coexist. I know 2007 will bring me more sorrow. and as always, I’m preparing for it. I have experienced far more heartaches than a person who has lived up to a hundred and one. There are so many goodbyes to be said this year and i’d be lying if I said I’m fine and dandy when that time comes.. My bestfriend always tells me that she’s really proud of me for I could confront adversity with a smile on my face.. but i’m not all laughs man.. and it’s starting to kill me. .

I came across this quote from the funniest man that ever lived… “I like walking in the rain so people won’t see my tears…” - - - Charlie Chaplin

Oh great.. once again I’ve managed to pull a 180 on my post. Jesting beginning, Depressing Ending. Anyhoo, Happy New Year Schmos!

the right not to choose!

2006-12-15T20:38:00.000+10:00

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ASSHOLES ARE! : God! Damn meddlers! i don't get why people have to force themselves into other people's affairs. . there's no need for me to choose! atleast not for now.. can't a girl enjoy the company of 2 guys at the same time with no strings attached at all? please! if you really are my friends, back off.. and stop finding paul's friendster account !he doesn't have one!

so anyway i'm hosting this fundraiser on the 20th called "adopt the jj for christmas" haha.. i've nowhere to stay this christmas.. seriously.. haha..

see me dance!

2006-11-29T22:58:00.000+10:00

nothingness..

2006-11-06T13:53:00.000+10:00

yah so anyway. . classes just kicked off.. it sucked pretty much.. teachers were too stubborn to show up. . shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning. .this new schedule really scares me. . i think it'll push me to use up all my allowable number of lates and absences. . crap. .i mean. . believe me. . i'm not the easiest person to wake up. .hehe. .friends say my sleep's as good as hbernation. . true. .

what hurts the most

2006-10-16T00:53:00.000+10:00

looking back alot has changed we never thought there'd come a day when everything we used to live for everything we did
and everything we say could fade away now we're left holding onto dreams small town kids we're gonna get there now it's
time i see those city lights i think it's time to go and we'll come back home when we hit the big time and we'll come back
someday.

crap.this is really hard for me.such a good friend.such a good person.tears have rolled down my eyes. just too hard.. just too hard..

LEAVE MY COMIC BOOKS ALONE!!!

2006-10-10T10:50:00.000+10:00

Arrrgh! George Bush! i f-ing hate you!! Let me elaborate.. hehe. comic books.. the one thing that allows me to isolate this world where we coexist. in DC 52, Lex luthor made a justice league of his own. To fight his battles. to make him look good. We are well aware that Lex luthor can never be the protagonist. Let's make things closer to home. Who's the coward who endangered thousands of people to fight his own battle in iraq? yep! bush! i would not dwell so much on the war issue. it's just that everytime i read my comic books ,there's always this page where there's an ad inviting readers to get listed in the army. i mean, how obvious could it get? A comic book depicts stories of selfless beings out to save the world from damnation. imagine a young reader who, after reading his comic books stumble to this page. I mean what the hell? i know what you people are trying to do.. You're sending subliminal messages to the readers. When a reader finishes an issue, automatically,he would feel very patriotic and invinsible wanting to become a hero himself. and what's the best way to be a hero in this world? yep!be in a battle.. enlist in the army. it just sucks so much that innocent comic books are now used as tools for brainwashing young minds.. cut off bush..the only solution..

Oh.

2006-10-08T23:46:00.000+10:00

So anyway. Random thought: The championship could have been really great had it not been ateneo that we battled against. Ateneo's not really antagonistic or villainous for me.. i just think that the victory could have been really glorious if la salle or ue or whatever team were our rival.. Go ateneo! you deserve the championship as much as the tigers! kickass! i love japs cuan.

at long last

2006-10-04T19:07:00.000+10:00

i've never felt this thrilled for the longest time. .the reason being? ah duhhh!!!! UST BAGGED THE MEN's BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIP.(to late the news.. hehe..)i was so devastated that i didn't get to watch it live so i decided not to watch the game at all.. but my hard-to-get attitude rapidly flew when a bunch of good friends texted me the oh so good news. haha. . i caught the game on re-run.. i am so pissed because people who didn't deserve to be there were there! (a.k.a. people who were only forced to be there, people with 0 knowledge in basketball,people who were late, and people who were to shitty to care.. tek i'm not talking about you...hehe).. arrgh.. stop regretting jj.. the important thing is we won! hell yeah! we really deserve it. it's a refresher to our long dead school spirit.. hehe.. i admit that this is the first time that i was.. am so proud to be part of such a supportive and whole community. .are you kidding me? being the underdogs that we are, suffering from a decade of drought, the boys managed to rise to the occassion by winning the title. a true cinderella story! it was just so surreal.. in a good way.. a little too perfect to be honest.. made me want to relive my basketball days! haha! soon my sweet sweet passion.. haay.. GO USTE! may your glory live on forever!!!!..

============================================
i just can't believe how much typhoon milenyo destroyed the metro more so, the south!.. southern kids weren't able to come out and play.. hehe... power came back only sunday at around 11pm (power outage was from thursday to saturday.. ) so forgive my lack of blog entries. haha..

============================================

hmmm... true that milenyo's long gone but the whirlwind of change is still abusing its authority .. well in a nutshell.. after countless of years being together, you now know who are those people who are so evil that the minute you blink your eyes, they stab you in the back and keep twisting the knife.. word of caution: trust a few.. if possible trust noone!

============================================

in other news, i am so in love with hinchel's superman birthright! great idea to borrow trade comic books, buddy! now i know what to collect next!

============================================

hahaha! more and more foreign friends keep passing by.. thanks!

Shame..

2006-09-25T21:46:00.000+10:00

SHIT... Im so sorry.. i'm such a horrible person.. you've been there for me too many times and all i've done was let you down.. arrrgh.. i just hate myself.. what kind of sick person would fine amusement in a friend's misery.. arrrghh! i swear this time, it'll be different... sorry.. sorry.. sorry.. sorry.. i really want to f-ing cry right now.. i really hate who i've become.. i am eternally apologetic.. i can find 0 excuses for my actions..

REVENGE IS SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-25T12:21:00.000+10:00

Oh you're going down.. Jai reyes! you know you're next

Hey Mister!!!!

2006-09-22T12:23:00.000+10:00

---- such a cute kid.. but i think he's 19 or 20 now.. haha.. ----

====================================================================================

In other news, if a person is really getting under your skin so much that you want to strangle him so bad. what would jesus do?

this is one of the last few entries that i would not be dropping names. i know you know who you are. do yourself and everyone else a favor. don't be such a smart ass. and so i thought you could not get more annoying. i stand corrected. a few more jerky adlibs and i swear to god i will hit you in the face so hard, your head would be totally disfigured.

=====================================================================================

some other news, ust's cruising to the finals! really man! it was such a nail biting game...

Awwww..

2006-09-18T19:14:00.000+10:00

A friend of mine posted this in ym and i just can't not share it with you guys:

when i was born, i was given 2 choices...

1. either to have a good memory
or
2. to have you in my life

And i just can't remember what i chose..

My Way or THe Highway!

2006-09-18T18:28:00.000+10:00

Hmmmmmmm..judging by the content of this post, you can definitely tell that i'm so bored and super annoyed!..Maybe it's because we're not really feeling the major plate hype yet..ho hmm..so sembreak's just snooping round the corner? well. i'm really scared to death to talk to the dean bout my request to take rma next sem.. arrgh.. it's just so unfair man! i don't want to go into details right now coz i've told this story a bajillion times already.. God i'm willing to do everything it takes for me to graduate on time.. it's either graduate or time, or be beaten up up by my dad. i can assure you that the latter is not looking pretty.. at all.. hmm.. so anyway.. i just hate it when all i've been doing is slaving and slaving especially this sem in my subjects with my mind already set on graduating on time.. then there are certain people who mooch of other people as well for a decent grade. to top it all, they think their works are so above it all when in reality their ideas are so damn stupid.. they think they have THE SKILLS... grrr.. this plate will be different i wish.. i really want a kick ass plate.. it's actually feasible as long as they allow cad.. "cad+photoshop=totally rad plate".. haay.. ps. as much as possible, i don't want to bring my electric guitar to school anymore.. it's just worsens my scoliosis and some people who try to show the world their knowledge when it comes to guitar are starting to bug me.. it's still my guitar and i'm pretty sure what i do with it is my business..

downhill

2006-09-17T19:22:00.000+10:00

hey! so anyway.. what the hell's happening to the oc's storyline? compared to the first season(which was so phenomenal). seasons 2 and 3 don't even come close to becoming great.. haay... smallville too man.. i still love that show but it's just not as good as the first few seasons. .hmm... sometimes i think i only watch those shows out of loyalty.. hehe.. :)or maybe i'm just too old for those kind of shows.. hmmmmm... nope! has to be the storylines... hehe... wait.. i just remembered i'm already 20..shit.. haha.. :D

so major plate 3's launched already.. that's got to be interesting.. i just pray that they allow cad.. jj and rendering just don't really mesh well together.. hehe..

laterz!

Dying of Boredom.. Blogthings..

2006-09-15T18:25:00.000+10:00

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SciFi Geekiness: Moderate
Movie Geekiness: High
Geekiness in Love: None

How Geeky Are You?

---- like i don't know.. haha.. :D

You Are Iceman

You tried to live a normal life, but it just wasn't possible
A bit of a slacker, you rather tell jokes than cultivate your powers

Powers: turning self and others into ice, making ice weapons, becoming nearly invisible

Which of the X-Men Are You?

--- are you kidding me? ice man? i'd rather be shadowcat! yeah!..

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.
Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.
And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

---- hmm.. oh wait.. yeah.. sarcasm... my weapon of choice..

Exotic Dancer Name Is...

Utopia

Exotic Dancer Name Generator

----.. there's nothing more i could say... utopia.. hmm .. if all else fails... haha.. .

The Afterplate.. hehe

2006-09-14T05:51:00.000+10:00

Hey dudes! so anyway.. major plate 2's history.. shoo! glad that's over! ahhh... nothing to do but relax for the next few days.. before mr. accessibility law would ruin the whole week by returning the test results on saturday! arrrgh..uncle ginoboi and i make a great team.. hehe.. <--- (comment on this and i swear to god i would kill you. .aha.. just got tired of all the teasing.. ) well i can say that our plate's really good if i didn't ruin it with my crappy rendering skills.. it's just unfair that rendering constitutes a big part of presentation.. we're architects-to-be man! not interior designers! are there any renndering programs offered anywhere? seriously, tell me if you do know..

i was really looking forward to this weekend .. perform with my new..ehek.. adaptively re-used band..hehe.. long story.. but to quote pao... "something came up".. major bummer.. well alryt.

i can't wait for this sem to end.. well.. kind of.. sem break, here i come! my days would be purely spent on band practice, sleeping, and more loafing.. hehe.. the golden days.. aaarrghh.. i miss summer!! summer forever! i could rant about "summer forever passion" for the rest of my life!:D

to cite the obvious.. i changed my template again! haha.. the previous one was cute and all but it was just too plain.. i do like simplicity but i think a grim reaper on the bottom left of the screen's a little too boring..

so voila! i call this skin, "the punk kid crossover between peyton sawyer and seth cohen template". say that 398502387 times.. i dare yah! haha

oh... right.. i was about to get into a fight with someone in the class because of my 50 pesos.. so WHAT? I"M A LIAR NOW? hehe.. just kidding..

oh.. look at my cluster map.. more and more people from different countries are checking out my blog. . can't blame them! my blog's totally radical! haha.. :D

blast from the past.

2006-09-10T20:20:00.000+10:00

forever and ever babe! thank you sooooooooo much... :D

call me ms. bitter..

2006-08-30T16:49:00.000+10:00

hAY.. Mr. M. i hate you so much even if it's been years since we last saw each other.. 2 years .. i think.. well you've been coming up a lot lately.. check my recent posts.. hehe.. just wanted to remind you that i hate you sooooooooooooo much.. oh.. and your current girlfriend's not pretty.. at all.. hmmph.. you'll never be more than an ass to me.. moron! *** ****** ****** haha..

- - - signs of bitterness has been brought to you by your ex..

Alryt!

2006-08-28T05:03:00.000+10:00

Just wanted to thank those people who remembered my holiday and the geeks from comixtreme and comic resources. . much love. .

doobidoo

2006-08-28T04:11:00.000+10:00

well okay.. the title of this entry has nothing to do with mi post.. haha.. i just miss apo.. haha.. crazy..:D well anyway, the much awaited international jj awareness day is now over.. huhu!! (i still hate being 20 ..) let's not dwell on that right now.. gotta stop whining.. it's not mature-like.. ehem.. womanly.. ehem.. okay I JUST HATE IT.. let's just leave it that way.. hehe.. :D crap.. but no worries, God and i made an agreement.. i'll continue to age but i'd look like a 15 year old school girl forever.. ahaha.. sounds more like a contract with the devil eh? hehe..:D

my holiday was fun.. i had 4 celebrations.. haha.. except for a scene pulled by fucking morons.. (a.k.a. mi familia) .. shit.. they just can't not be full of drama.. even on my birthday.. sheesh.. i want to move out so bad... God. make me see the winning lottery numbers in my sleep tonight.. hehe.. :D

in other news.. unsaid sorrow is up and running again.. yep.. mi bandmates and i are gonna meet up and create musical fusion once again.. i miss jamming.. oooh.. remind me to buy effects and a power amp... hmmm.. effects or comic books? hmmm... comic books it is!:D woohoo.. ooh..

to a moronic idiot.. (ridiculously redundant.. haha.. i know! i just wanted to curse him as much as i can..)you know who you are.. stay away from me fucker!! better change your layout before i sue you for plagiarism.. ass!

oh wait.. i have to computer aid draft my sports dormitory.. Shit...

for mae and lagu.. hahaha.. no worries guys! you may be 21, but you'll always look 45 to me.. haha... psycho.. labo.. :D

weird. .i miss melrose place. .hehe.. i remember jennie garth who played kelly from bev hills 90210 made a cameo appearance in melrose.. for like one episode... haha.. i think she was involved with the photographer ? not sure.. ooh,, and i loved the name dr. mancini.. hehe...

who i am hates who i've been!

2006-08-23T17:17:00.000+10:00

I watched the proverbial sunrise Coming up over the Pacific and You might think I'm losing my mind, But I will shy away from the specifics... 'cause I don't want you to know where I am 'cause then you'll see my heart In the saddest state it's ever been. This is no place to try and live my life. Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it. See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back. I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.Who I am hates who I've been. I talk to absolutely no one. Couldn't keep to myself enough. And the things bottled inside have finally begun To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up. I heard the reverberating footsteps Synching up to the beating of my heart, And I was positive that unless I got myself together, I would watch me fall apart. And I can't let that happen again 'cause then you'll see my heart In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me. Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again'cause who I am hates who I've been.Who I am hates who I've been.

God.. i hate my family! i don't think we qualify as one..these low life people would prioritize stupidity over happiness.. they're all so full of shit. . i hate saying goodbye.. depression has always been my companion . . sweet d***h.. be my escape.. soon i hope.. the sad thing is though i've been trying to avoid becoming close to what they are, slowly but surely i am. . i guess it's safe to say that who i am hates who i've been!

Get ready NAGA!

2006-08-22T01:06:00.000+10:00

NO!!!!! TEEN FOREVER!!

2006-08-20T19:44:00.000+10:00

Hey Dudes! so this is the BIG 20 blog entry.. these past few weeks, i would usually rant about my fears on turning twenty. aaargh i hate it so much .. even the sound of TWENTY irritates me.. ho humm.. so anyway what have i learned about myself now that i've completed 1/3 of my life?..hmm.. i've listed some stuff about me that you might find weird, funny, or whatever.. they're all true by the way.. so if you're having trouble believing them, i don't give a fuck! sheesh!! i'm turning 20 man! the least you could do is not annoy me! writing about your thoughts on turning twenty is a rite of passage .. i think.. hehe..

1. I had no drafting skills (even up to now, i think.. hehe) when i took architecture.. the only special skill i brought along from high school was the ability to speak FRENCH!! haha!

2. it took me three tries to learn how to play guitar.first try was back in 2001, then i had to stop because i injured my left hand thanks to a basketball accident, second strike was 2002, i had a hard time shifting from basic to barred chords so i gave up, then 3rd time's really a charm i guess.. 2003.. everytime i got home from school i would lock myself inside my room for hours struggling to learn.. home run baby!

3. i injured my left hand few weeks before the league started.. sheesh.. talk about bad luck.

4. i never learned how to ride a bike.. and never will i think..

5. i think i'm the only person who enjoyed ORANGE COUNTY the movie.. haha

6. i was under disciplinary action in h.s.

7. my bestfriend and i had a feud that lasted for like a month or so

8. i am guilty of hit and run driving

9. i was in an accident january 5, 2005, on my way to school . . i literally flew out of the vehicle

10. i've overcome unipolar depression.. i think . .

11. i had to undergo surgery last year because of a hole in my thigh.. eew..

12. sometimes i can't get up in the morning because of my backbone condition

13. i'm sad for a girl if she isn't smart.

14. I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE KEEP TEASING ME AND A FRIEND. GROW UP PLEASE! IT'S STARTING TO GET ANNOYING.

15. i hate people who don't know how to say "thank you"

16. i hate a guy who thinks he knows it all

17. i hate people who think they speak flawless english when in reality they're so barok

18. i hate a guy who acts like he's my boyfriend

19. i hate it when people touch my hair and stomach.

20. i hate a guy who forces himself on me

21. i hate people who claim they are so good friends and listeners when really they're not

22. bad luck keeps following me around

23. i don't need a GOOD LISTENER.. i need someone who'll understand

24. for me, autocad is one of the greatest inventions

25. i miss carpooling. hehe..

26. i have the most dysfunctional family. try me

27. i accidentally erased my old blog.. so stupid. this is actually my second one

28. i'm really tempted to terminate my friendster account

29. i believe summer is the best season to be in a relationship.. had one this summer!!woohoo!!

30. summer is the greatest season ever!

31. i hate gossips

32. i hate backstabbers.

33. i think i have issues.. i 've only been in a serious relationship once.. summer loves, flings, etc. : ***teen.. seriously.. haha

34. i'm the type of kid who would help an old lady cross the street. if i don't ..my conscience would eat me alive.

35. i prefer sunrise over sunset. i find sunsets depressing

36. I believe the golden arches is better than jollibee

37. I’m a completely different person at home.

38. I ‘m so tempted to move out

39. Thesis year scares me to death

40. I think I’m gonna die young

41. I used to love coffee as a kid.. now I don’t know why I don’t like it

42. I enjoy reading law related materials

43. i miss my mazda.. I hate to be seen driving my dad’s van

44. I think that the price of fuel is astronomical

45. I hate GEORGE BUSH

46. I believe loren legarda would make a good president

47. I hate people who keep trashing emo when in reality they’re closet emos

48. Some of the movies I hate the most are: benchwarmers , stuck on you, dreamcatcher and ghost story

49. I’m one of those few people who don’t appreciate LOTR

50. I remember this shorts I had when I was a kid that said “someone in san Francisco loves me” .. haha! Wtf?

51. There are three ways I wanna die : in a car accident, dying for someone else, and dying for GOD

52. I consider myself a religious person

53. i am obsessed with the year people are born. I don’t know why.

54. I’m not a big fan of horoscopes

55. I used to have a tongue piercing. No plans of getting one again.

56. I think I can endure the pain of getting a tattoo but I don’t think there’s a design I would mind seeing on a part of my body forever

57. during lent, I usually give up soda

58. I am about to go undergo surgery again.. this time, to have my molars removed.

59. I hate people with crab mentality

60. I want to study in france

61. I think I would make a great advertiser

62. I’ve always wished to be a part of some other family

63. I hate slapstick

64. I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to be hooked on ragnarok,dota or whatever the latest pc game is

65. I hate in when I’m into something and then other people would start liking it as well then after a while like claiming it’s their thing! So annoying

66. I’ve tried dating two guys at the same time. Fun but unhealthy.. haha. No matter how much you deny it, you have to choose.. shit

67. sometimes for kicks (while driving), I would mdas plate numbers.. haha

68. I still suck when it comes to parallel parking

69. i can teach myself how to play instruments and learn programs and shit

70. I’m not a gifted singer

71. I love jolly biscuits

72. My mom left us in the care of my grandmother since I was nine

73. My sim card is 6 years old

74. i would choose my mp3 player over my cellphone

75. I hate saying goodbye

Wow! You really read ‘em all? You’re such a good friend. so anyway. .my advice for those about to turn 20: hmm.. well.. maybe I’m so scared of getting older is because I refuse to accept changes. I allowed the change waves to wipe me out .. and ever since, I never had the guts to ride my board again resulting to me being stranded in the middle of the ocean. No one wins when you let your life pass you by. The only permanent thing in this world is change. Stop dwelling on the past. Go and ride the waves!©

For Future References

2006-08-07T22:22:00.000+10:00

Guys I'm calling dibs on following :

1. St Thomas Square for my PP Critique!

2. The name "Terminal Front Drive" for my new punk band

3. "Manny Pacquiao Sports Center" as the name of our Naga Complex in Design

I'm not kidding.. For Future references.. Thanks..

Get ready depression!

2006-08-05T19:48:00.000+10:00

Hey Dudes! What the hell .. Life Sucks! Seriously man! Why does it always have to be me? AAArgh!!!! I just f-ing hate SONY!!! AAAArgh!! So Anyway, I uploaded a bunch of songs for my walkman just a while ago.. then as I was trying out the songs, the player kept prompting

TRACK ERROR!! CANNOT PLAY!!!

Every f-ing time.. from Michael Buble to Emery!! Aargh!!

I had to reformat my player then KABOOM!! All the songs (1000+) were gone in an instant.. .I’m so pissed right now.. I didn’t have a backup drive or whatever.. Shitness.. I wanna die. . MUSIC NO MORE!! Whoa.. I think I just got the gravity of the situation. . It’s worse than I thought.. hmmm.. So alright.. See yah ! OFF TO THE TIME MACHINE.. shit.. I’ve lost my mind as well.. ©

Tell Me.

2006-08-04T21:39:00.000+10:00

Bigamy, Drugs, Cheating, Drinking Problems, Battered Kids, Children running away from home, Parents disowning their children, Emancipation, Lies, Separation , Illegitimate Children, Mothers denying their own sons and daughters, Abortion, Greed, Depression..

Elements that would add up to a great telenovela. sorry folks. What you might find entertaining is something i have to suffer and live with for the rest of my life. Yes. The story of my life. from way before i was born, it never got better. I think Shakespeare would agree in calling this a tragic story. We are so far from getting a happy ending. Uggh.. I just hate them so much. Every single time i gave them a chance to change, they've done nothing but let me down.

i'm not even an american, man!

2006-07-09T18:08:00.000+10:00

All American Kid

Popular but not plastic. Athletic but not a jock. Smart but not a brain.

You were well rounded and well liked in high school.

Who Were You In High School?